April 18: Pointed float


She teaches herself,

toes pointing, legs buoyant: lift!

She learns water’s grace.

A to Z Challenge: This month, I will be writing a haiku (sometimes a senryu – same syllables, not marveling at nature) each day save Sundays for the 26 letters of the alphabet as part of the blogosphere’s A to Z Challenge.

Day 4: A to Z Challenge

D is for Decisions

This week, the beach has been pulling at the water in my body.  It feels as though all of my being is drawn toward the shore and my head is screaming with “WHY DON’T WE LIVE AT THE OCEAN!?”


People do it. They live in the most beautiful, exotic, tropical locations.  Places where other people go on vacation.  Why can’t we be those people?

And I don’t even need tropical.  I just want to be close enough to get to the ocean the same way we go to the park or the playground now.  I’m totally happy living in NC and driving 20 minutes to the beach.  That is so do-able; why don’t we!? There are some very cool towns in Coastal NC – or even the Charleston area in SC (where I was this week).


I have moments of “clarity” where it seems I have made up my mind. We are definitely moving to the beach.  Just for a few years, while the kid(s) are young.  Sean owns his own business – we can expand it to the coast! I would like to stay at home for a couple of years with babies – let’s do it! We can always come home in a few years.


But then I get back and I realize the elements of home are so much more than a geographical location.  Here, in Chapel Hill, we have grandparents on both sides and Maya sees one or both almost every day.  We have my professional community, where, as much as I yearn to be a stay at home mom for a while, I am still very much a teacher and a part of this school district. We have our friends with whom we get together as much as possible (which is still not often enough!) Sean’s business is here.  My family business is here (which, potentially, I may take over in a few years). We know these streets; we know these people.  We are so overwhelmingly supported and loved here.  And while I know we would carry that love, support, family and friend ties with us wherever we would go, why go now?

Mom, cousin, me, sister
Mom, cousin, me, sister

Sean promises me that we will live at the beach one day.  Maybe not until we’re retired, but one day.  And until then, the beach is only 2.5 hours away – an easy day trip if I’m jonesin’.  And summer is just beginning…